Good Tidings for Christmas……..

January 1st 2022

Happy New Year.

It was the most uneventful one yet and I do not care at all. I won’t go through the long list of what 2021 brought us…I’m sure you are all aware at this point. I did get a message from my Zyia upline….and she asked for one moment or event that stood out in 2021. I couldn’t come up with a positive one at the moment but as I sit here typing I can come up with a few. Alyeska went to the state meet in the 2 mile run. Cora had a beautiful open house at the end of the school year and we all got to go backpacking in Wyoming…to name a few. There is plenty to be thankful for, it just seems these last 4, almost 5 months have casted a large looming shadow over 2021. 2020 was great! I’d take that many times over!

Mark had his MRI on Wednesday. Dialysis was at home and then Cora took him to Grand Rapids so I could attempt to get things done but to be honest, I didn’t really feel that good and I layed down for 2 hours instead. We hope that his doctor reads the MRI before our virtual meeting on Monday and combined with the CT, we are hoping that she can tell us the treatment is working. We did read the CT results on our own (yes. we can read {spoken in dumb deep caveman voice} ) but it does recommend to wait for your doctor in case it might cause alarm. So what we read didn’t seem awesome but I’m not sure if we should be concerned or not. We will wait for Monday and let you all know. Other than that, the only thing to report on with Mark is his fistula. It keeps branching and he was sent to get it fixed (remember) but they said nothing was wrong but our dialysis nurse what quite upset that they did nothing. Now we have a consult set up with a new doctor (ours is on a mission trip) for Wednesday and than after that we can schedule a surgery. Until then, the center can still “work” and use the fistula to help it grow but as far as training to use full time…that has to wait. We will drive to the beltline all this month and hope for a quick scheduled surgery and that we can get that training done soon!! When that is done and its 100% usable full time he can get the CVC out and take showers and swim and hot tub and all of that.

Mark’s back hurts him. Its the only real pain he has had through this whole process and its not even the issue. I mean, it became an issue but dialysis doesn’t cause pain and his kidney gives him only minimal pain but his back! He were able to slide into to see Dr Denboer when a patient cancelled and he worked on Mark’s back and Mark had immedient relief but 7 hours later by the time we arrived home, he was in worse pain. I think I have found the tight spot I can try to work on but you have to be super careful where you rub/touch/push….it could send him through the roof!

Today I mustered up energy to go for a walk in the frigid temps. Afterward I sat in the hot tub and could see 2 deer next door munching on a tree. They were scared off by the owners going out the front door but I don’t think they even know those deer are right up at their windows. Then I watched 3 out in my yard for a while. They are so camoflauged sometimes…their legs blend in with the small trees and sticks. Its kind of neat to see so much country, in the city.

Mark and I talk alot about the upcoming year and what we can do with ourselves. (Like we need things to do) Business ideas and how to best use our talents for this phase in our life. He likes to have things laid out. He likes to have plans and our situtation makes it hard to do that. I think we can plan all we want though but that doesn’t mean things will go how we like. I mean, we didn’t plan this! We were suppose to go out west for our anniversary. We weren’t going to move into this litte house until much later. Mark was going to fly a bunch and I was going to keep working on simplifying. I look at social media and see so many people going to through so much heartache. I see so many people getting sick. I mean, sick sick. There has been so much death just in our small community and just a couple days ago a young lady in our church was diagnosed with luekemia. Did something get released into the air that makes your body mutate or break down? I know that sounds crazy town but if you look around you…its crazy. Everything had gone mad. So its not that crazy of a statement.

Someone stopped me in the coffee shop and said reading Mark’s words are refreshing. Its easy to have faith when life is cookies and cream but when you are thrown to the ground and stomped on…well after the bell…and you still have faith in Christ, that is refreshing and real. When there are quiet moments like right now….when I feel really empty. Just kind of foggy. Stale. I know what I believe and God is showing Himself true….but I still feel empty.

Jan 3, 2022

The kids started back to school and so the driving has begun. I took Hatcher in due to college course schedules etc but since I could, I didn’t mind. I took Mark to dialysis and then we scooped Hatcher up on the way back.

We just had our 4:50pm virtual appoitment with our oncologist. First of all, let me vent for a second, its what I do best. She hadn’t read the MRI yet so she is doing everythign on the fly. I want her to say, “Hmmm, let me research and think on that and I’ll call you tomorrow.” But she doesn’t work like that. Basically, the CT scan nor the MRI show progress. In fact, they show a little worse. She says its a little step in the right direction but not the large leap we had hoped for. She is going to stop the immunotherapy and start him on a different chemo drug. He told her that his back still hurts and so she wants him to do radiation but in my not-so-medical-opinion….where his back hurts is totally different than where he had surgery. Its muscular and its lower. I know this because when Dr Denboer worked on him, he had relief. Also, I can find the tight muscle. So even if radiation irradicated the little tumors in there…his back will still hurt from the muscular pain. But thats just me. What do I know?

It’s discouraging and frustrating. She even asked if he was still doing dialysis. (???) I don’t understand why she doesn’t understand. Does she think he shouldn’t be? Does she not totally understand his situation? Then the question arises…again….. can he go on less dialysis?

Anyways…we are going to digest and chew on this tonight. We ask that you keep praying. Thank you.