Dec 13th

Its late. I’m tired. But I did promise an update.

Mark’s intense pain is gone but there is always pain. Now his back muscles just feel very sore and achey. Bending over is still super hard. He just feels…sick…all the time and maybe this is just what it will feel like to have an illness and be under treatment. I hope to find 5 minutes before we “turn in” to rub on the spot on his back that hurts so much.

Today he had a friend pick him up and take him to Davita for dialysis. This allowed me to go work on the house all day long! It started with me doing one more sweep and mop of the basement floor with a friend and then another friend showing up with Timbertown coffee!! It didn’t take long to take get the first coat on and then we worked on other small things that needed to be done to complete projects like caulk around the toilet and paint the closet door. I stained, polyurathaned, cut trim, filled nail holes, hung my mirror, vacuumed, and put that second coat on the basememt as well. I took Cora to her dental appointment (time for those wisdom teeth to come out) and picked up some cabinets in Grand Rapids for my laundry area. Not my dream cabinets but well built and cost effective and they will give me storage space. I even managed to remember to eat. The family came up after dinner and brought a load and helped out a little and Cora added ornaments to the tree. Mark is very eager to be in one place so its time to start moving folks…as soon as the appliances get in.

Mark said dialysis went well and they used his fistula for the first time. He said it was no biggie. The other day, our dialysis friend, Sean, stopped by to give me boxes and him and Mark talked cancer and dialysis and fistulas for a while. It was good to talk to someone who has and is going through it. Today he came home and decided to take a quick nap and slept for 4 hours. I guess going out and visiting all morning wore him out. He was frustrated that he didn’t get to go through the last few things in the garage. Maybe tomorrow.

I still find it hard to believe that this is us. I cannot believe my husband has cancer. I feel like I will wake up one day and he will be his old self and this will be over. That he will be playing basketball again and jumping over obstacles. No more machine, no more visits to doctors for emergency catheters, no more list of supplements and pills, no more dialysis and no more back aches!!! We would be going to church and he will be flying again. And maybe that WILL happen again…but not overnight.

I’m tired. I’m just tired. I looked into that mirror after I hung it and I look worn out!! I aged 5 years this last 4 months. But I can. And I’m thankful that I can. Mark prays for strength and energy for me. I felt like today I had energy…until 10. 🙂 I also had good friends at the house today doing work. 3 of them and one of their husbands and then Mark’s good friend. He was goign to install my shower door only to find the components were bent and crushed. I’m not looking forward to trying to get ahold of customer service to figure that out! My list of returns in long!

Mark is at Davita all week and I’m almost done with projects at the house but we are looking to move Wed/Thurs/Fri weather depending. Our goal is to be living at the new house this weekend with most of our stuff (at least what we need) and then that gives me time to go back through the old house and finish up loose ends and clean. We love our Kent City house and its about to get very real. We will walk away and it will no longer be ours.