Cannulation Will Begin

DustyMark's Journey, Words from Mark 9 Comments

March 30

I’ve been waiting to hear back from the surgical center to see if Mark will need to have another small surgery to make his fistula work better or if its matured enough that we can start using it. When we had to meeting with Dr. DeJong he couldn’t see why we couldn’t use it but wanted to check with the center that trouble shot it last and with the Davita center. He is a really nice and thorough doctor and he took alot of time with Mark (and apologized for it) to make sure we were taking the best next step. This fistula took forever to put in….and then it has taken forever for it to be good enough to use and we are just now getting to the stage where he might…maybe…be able to use just that alone. Having cancer puts a lots sticks in the spokes and makes the journey so much longer. Today Davita contaced me and told me we could start cannulation. At first I was bummed. I didn’t want to have to go through another pre surgical regiment and another surgery…but then I re-read the text and realized cannulation means poking him with needles! This means we start using it full force and for real Apil 11th. It should take two weeks in center to get it all ready and then we can go home on it (as long as I am good with putting needles in him) and if it works well for 2 weeks..then he can have the CVC taken out!!! This is so good. This means normal showers, daily hot tubs and any other water submerging he would like to do!

Today his old Cross Country/Track and Field coach came by and chatted. His parents took him to lunch but I stayed back and listened to the rain on the garage roof while I made another attempt to move alot of stuff around in the garage with high hopes of getting rid of more and condensing it all to the front half so we can create a seperate space in the back. Its a big job. What’s left in there was the old house’s garage contents, basement contents and what we didn’t want to bring in the house. There is alot! Some of it is very cool, however, if I can’t enjoy it, its not that cool now is it? Some things I won’t part with but most of it I can. My friend and her husband came by with some food and good conversation and then I hauled the extra load of dialysis supplies that were randomly delivered to my front porch. I do not have room for extra extra supplies people! They said Mark ordered it and that made me chuckle as I’m sure Mark did not look up NxStage’s number and call to ask for extra supplies. It’s a chill Wednesday night since the kids are at youth group.

Now…here is the 4th part to Mark’s series. Its a good one.


Part 4:  What am I waiting for?.

Hebrews 9:27 Just as people are destined to die once, and after that to face judgment, 28 so Christ was sacrificed once to take away the sins of many; and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.

My last corporate flying trip was to the east coast—I hadn’t been feeling super well but was excited for the trip and the food.  We were going to stay down by the water and eat fresh seafood and I remember the anticipation after reviewing the restaurant menus online—fresh lobster roll, fries, cup of clam chowder—I was in anticipation all day.  When we finally ate I was disappointed, my appetite had been waining, my back began to ache, and slight nausea had come over me, unbeknownst to me, my kidney had been failing me and the sickness ruined the meal, all my waiting had left me in disappointment, little did I know I was in for a long haul of disappointing meals at the hospital and home as my taste buds and appetite vary wildly.

I love to eat— I spent years on the road in sales and as a corporate pilot—one of the jokes we had when flying the jet was that the toughest decision we have to make during our day was where we were going to have dinner.  I loved a good meal and I had bosses that did not skimp when it came to restaurant choices or bills.  I have less and less earthly pleasures that get me excited—meals don’t taste as good, athletic events are less captivating, flying airplanes, playing games, parties just don’t do it for me lately.  I spent a lot of my life waiting for the next big thing.  The next big game, the next holiday, vacation etc. etc.  Waiting to graduate, waiting to get married, waiting to have kids, retirement, to have grandkids, I have spent a considerable amount of my time on earth waiting, desiring, hoping, anticipating like Christmas Eve for things and events that just don’t cut it.  Now that I’m spending more time counting my days and quite honestly pain and sickness has robbed me of enjoying life.  I just don’t wait for things like I used to.

and he will appear a second time, not to bear sin, but to bring salvation to those who are waiting for him.

He will return, there will be an end.  The world is not getting better, technology cannot save us from the evil that lurks in all our souls.  My political party cannot save us.  What a message, he will return and set things right—earth will be what it was meant to be.  The price has already been paid—he will return to bring salvation….”to those who are waiting for him.”  This last part  is so important, Paul doesn’t mince his words—am I waiting for him?  He’s bringing salvation to those are waiting.  How many people who claim to be Christians, who have prayed a prayer, who go to church who do religious things, people who are better nicer people than me —are truly waiting for him?  How much of my life was spent in true anticipation of his return?  Wow—this is powerful.  Why are we not in eager anticipation of his return?  I think there are a group of “Christians” who love the idea of eternal life, but do not trust Jesus, really trust him enough to obey him.  He became an insurance policy for millions people around the world and thus giving the religion and Jesus a bad name. 

I pray to be cured from this cancer to return to as much as a normal life as I can.  But as odd as it may seem I thank him for it as well.  It has opened my eyes to my inevitable death, and his judgment.  It has given me an additional appreciation for his one time sacrifice for me.  Lastly, I’ve lived a blessed life, given many things I did not deserve, and enjoyed living on earth immensely—If God needed to take away some of that joy to draw me closer to him, to desire him, to cause me open my eyes to the fact that he will return for those who have been waiting and to give me the desire to wait for him.  Not only did he give me salvation he gave me the desire for it too.  

And to you skeptics —Heaven is going to be like earth without all the pain.  It will have feasts like no other!  The best Ribeye paired with the best Cabernet, potatoes and bread…finished with the most flavorful dense chocolate cake you have ever tasted, a cup of espresso and conversation and laughter like I’ve never had before with the man who gave it all to me.  I’m waiting.  I can’t wait to meet him.

Comments 9

  1. Mark,

    Thank you for sharing this perspective! It’s easy to focus on earthly things and not heavenly things. This is a great reminder for us all. Thank you for your witness and the faith that you so strongly share. God Bless!

  2. We loose so much time waiting. Like you said waiting for the weekend, waiting for the holiday, etc. don’t spend your time wasting your days….some day you will want those days back. God Bless you Mark

  3. Amen. Your words are true and to the point. God has given you at least two great gifts. The gift of salvation and the gift to share His Gospel. The truth and Life.

  4. Thank you Mark! Returning me to the “why”, pointing me back to my God. This world, as amazing as it is, holds nothing to what’s to come! 💜

  5. Excellent truth!

    Serious truth we all need to pay attention to!
    What a Wonderful, Merciful Savior who loves us so much, that He chooses to interrupt our going, allowing us to change our path.! Stand firmly on His promise!

    I’m consistently praying healing, strength and wisdom for you and your family including your mom and dad!

  6. what a fantastic message!! Thank you for this! And yes, many of us do wait for those milestones as humans without REALLY waiting for the arrival of Jesus Christ! What a powerful thought!

  7. Beautifully written, thank you Mark. Cancer definitely causes a shift in so many ways in so many things. I don’t have the energy to do as much I use to and can get frustrated sometimes. So everything I do now is so Intentional and so planned out. I remember when Covid hit and the world shut down and immediately no one’s life was the same! Just like getting the cancer news. Everyone was trying to adjust to their new normal! And for the first time in 5 years of living with cancer I felt like the whole world was with me and understood what it was like to have their world shattered! I was kind of sad when the world opened up again. I have always counted my blessings and have surrounded myself with family, doing it now makes my heart ache & joyful at the same time 💜.

    1. Post

      I personally like the shut down…I was a littel dissapointed that I had to go back to the busy life I created…but then I decided I could change that and I started the process of simplifying my life…and then this happened. 🙂

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