A Set Back

DustyMark's Journey 10 Comments

Today during dialysis, things seemed off. The machine was going off but he wasn’t doing the normal things that might set it off. He said he didn’t feel awesome this morning.
He started out weighing less again (remember we don’t take fluids off right now) and with about 45 mins left he was trying to eat and felt like food was stuck. He tried to drink it down but that wasn’t working. He tried to belch but it didn’t feel better. He ended up vomiting but no food came up I kept a close on him for any other weird symptoms and when he was done he just didn’t feel good. His chest still hurt and his jaw was bugging him. I got him dressed and decided we need to go to ER because I was afraid he was experiencing heart attack symptoms. When we were getting into the car his left arm hurt and on the way there his fingers were numb and tingly.
We went to at Mary’s in hopes of less than a circus but I was surprised at how non emergency the emergency lobby felt. I told them we thought he was experiencing heart attack symptoms and they were like…”I’ll need to see his ID”. Thankfully it went fast and he was triaged and put in a room right away.
Blood work showed he wasn’t having a heart attack but his blood was being weird and they couldn’t get a “clean” draw. He explained it like the blood was breaking up and not holding form. “Messy”. So they drew twice more. The messy part didn’t change but they did determine his hemoglobin was very low. This is common for dialysis patients and normally they can recieve Epogen (which is made by the kidneys for the bones to use to make Hemoglobin) but cancer patients don’t get that. They get blood transfusions. However, they didn’t want to give him more blood that was going to “fall apart” once in him. So there was some conferencing between ER, hemotology and our UofM oncologist….and they decided he could have a steroid, then the blood. They would give him one unit and see how he responds.
While the transfusion was going they CT scanned his abdomen because he is back to peeing pure blood and Mark can feel it’s clotted. Just like that. Just like they said. Finicky.
They did another CT scan because when he tries to drink anything that lodging feeling shows up in his chest.

We were brought up to our room and his blood pressure is really high. They gave him meds to lower it but it didn’t work. They will give him a continuous blood pressure med in his IV. They redrew his blood and will be giving him another unit of blood.
He just feels cruddy.
Here at St Mary’s you can have one overnight quest…or a guest :). So I can stay if I want.
Let’s see what Wednesday brings for us!.
******
Good morning. Mark received some morphine last night for the pain and so he could sleep. His hemoglobin went up to 6.7 (did I say that?) from 4.4 and I’m sure they will tell me this morning if it has gone up more since his last transfusion. They have taken blood twice. His abdomen hurts. I’ve not heard anything regarding scans but I’m sure the doctor will be around this morning. His coloring yesterday was very yellow and the whites of his eyes were not white and he was very pink around eyes and at wrinkles. I would say last night his coloring was better already.

So it was good I brought him in. It was a totally and completely different set of issues than I thought but…this is where he needed to be.

Hey— my lifelong friend Julie Long had t-shirts made to support Mark. They are pretty cool. Click on her profile below.

https://www.facebook.com/julie.long.5437

there IS a meal train…there is a way to donate and there are multiple ways you can pray.

I keep trying to jump the gun mentally. I try to get back into a sort of normal routine but am quickly thrown back into this weird whirlwind. When the doctor told us about the blood I thought maybe I had done something wrong or given him something I wasn’t suppose to. I wondered if his red blood cells broke in dialysis and I didn’t catch it and gave his blood back. I would think I would have seen it. I don’t even know if that could make this happen. I just am always looking for the why. I always want explanations. I became very sad thinking that this horrible situation just got worse. Sad for myself and for Mark and for my kids. Then I also tell myself that many many many other people have gone through something like this or currently are. Even people I know. I can be sad but I am not to look down. During this time, a good friend texted me and asked me. “Do you ever doubt? Or do you have total and complete faith?” Do you Dusty??? It was a great question if she was asking what I thought she was. It’s almost like God knew she would send me that while I was at the ER bedside of my husband. 😉

Comments 10

  1. Hey. It seems like so much for you and Mark, everyday seems different but every day I think he is getting better. Hang in there, people are looking over you 2 and your kids.
    You have been thrown a curve ball today and it will get better. Mark is strong and your faith is stronger as I read.
    Tell Mark hello and we are sending GOOD VIBES !
    If you need anything let me know., I am more than willing to help.

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  2. Dusty and Mark. In this time it will be difficult to look upward. Side to side is possible, and looking down seems the easiest. Always in the darkest parts of the day, night, treatement, the hectic pace, and the calmness; there will always be a little light shining. I wrote this a while back feeling frustrated, angry and somewhat down trodden.
    We know God can and does heal everything. We do not know the reasons why He doesn’t for me, for us.
    I admit saying sometimes life does suck. I also act and admit that the cancer I have does not exist inside of me. I do not want to tell others like myself “it will be ok”, or by having others telling me ” it will be ok”. Sometimes I do not believe that it will be “ok”.
    It (cancer) will never go away with the type I have. Cancer in me is waiting for every moment to say “here I am”. Admitting that I spend time in denial is futile but always quite possible through the good days and bad ones as well.
    I am not going to surrender just because I forget just who I am. Regardless of what we, what I go through in life, God is bigger than anything we struggle with. Just as cancer peers over my shoulder, every waking moment, God is as well. He is overshadowing and overpowering it and just when I think that cancer will prevail…….NOPE…..God will!!!
    I thank God for every path that each of us have been down. He has guided and prepared each path differently. My path may be straight, my walking, not so much. I thank you for every smile, every hello, every prayer for me, for us. I thank God for every person that has crossed our path, my path. A Prayer: Thank you God for everyone who walks beside us, the ones who help to hold us up, and the people that lean on us also. I lift my
    friends Dusty and Mark for their peace and their comfort. Bless them both as they have blessed so many. Thank you Lord. Amen.

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  3. You don’t know us, but Mark definitely does. Just found out about his health issues. Please know, that Tom and I will be praying AND I just passed the info about Mark and this website to our kids – Rhonda and Paul. The Lord strengthen all of you. Your prayer warriors.

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