Zippadee do da

Dustythe journey continues 2 Comments

July 30 2023

I have 1/2 hour before I need to get ready for church. Can we zip this up and out? I don’t know..

I had an intention of listening to last weeks service because Pastor Chris talked about Mark but also because its a new series and I wanted to be up to snuff. Who knows, maybe I”ll have time for it all (I always think that-I’m dillusional-time has never been my friend)

Okay he us up talking, here is the LINK if you want to start the series too! Its about 20 mins in where he talks about Mark.

Aly comes home tonight! She was planning on staying another 10 days to 2 weeks but she has a series of appointments next week that she needs to be home for. As far as her health…this is the only new thing I can share (or even know) There is a correlation with her cycle so estrogen spikes may be the trigger or one of many triggers because she has had “espisodes” not on her cycle as well but on the island all three cycles brought on an episode. She has gotten sick a week or so ago and couldn’t work and so she was resting when her cycle started and was not at work feeling the stress of tourists needing Beaver Islander Burritos, hot coffee or scones nor was she under the demand of her boss and co-workers. So that “episode” was very different but it was there all the same. The cardiologist prescribed her a saline IV and she had to pester and pester the Health Clinic to get that but she did. Was that the reason her episode was less? Or was it less stress? Or was it the x39 patches? I do not know! This is the most frustrating thing. My prayer right now is that these sessions she has with the functional nuerologist this coming week work! That God heals her brain and these symptoms through this doctor and that it happens much quicker than any one thinks. That she can go in and by the end of the week she can be retested and it will show she is all good to go. I want this selfishly for two reasons. #1 –less appointments to pay for and submit to insurance because doctors that really are into you and your issues and heal by healing the whole body (because each system is reliant on the other and work together) are not covered by insurance!!! It’s such a rip off and really ticks me off! Can you tell? My insurance will take their superbill though and put it toward my deductible. What a hassle though and #2–I want Aly to feel better and stay feeling better. I want her to be able to go to college and know she isn’t going to pass out at her first CC meet. I want her to know she doesn’t have a tumor in her brain and that she is not dying and just my telling her that isn’t cutting it. Understandably enough…she is scared.

I was able to go up one more time since the 4th and so here are some photos from that with my brother and some photos of Aly Cat!

Okay so one kid update down…I have to get ready for church before I finish or keep going because otherwise I’ll be running out the door like a ninny without her head. I hate that feeling.

Okay..well I’m easy because I don’t wear makeup much ever and I already knew what I was wearing. All I need to do is put on my patches, comb hair and pack my purse/bag so I don’t forget my Bible.

Last night I went out to Maranatha with a friend from church to hear a free concert from a group called The Singing Contractors. They were really good and very interesting as they just decided to record themselves singing on the jobsite one day and it went viral overnight and people started requesting they kept recording them. They sing mostly traditional hymns although they do covers and I think they have some of their own. The play tonight at Shady Pines but I dont know where that is. You’ll have to look it up. Fine, I’ll do it for you. HERE IT IS its in Hopkins Mi.

Cora is currently in London. It sounds so fancy. They must have downtime because she was debating more sightseeing or going to see Wicked the musical. I don’t know what she decided to do. She told me she saw the changing of the guards and was walking around. She comes home on Friday and I’m so excited but nervous too. When she is traveling I won’t feel very settled til she is on the ground in Grand Rapids! She really wanted to stay and visit Spain for a bit and worked it out to be affordable and was even able to travel with someone from the group but it just didn’t work out. I guess we will have to go to Spain sometime!! The first option was going to cost her like a whole entire ticket which was ridiculous…but anyways. It didn’t pan out but I’m happy to get her back soon.

Hatcher leaves Tuesday to spend time in Alaska. This will be an emotional week. Aly home tonight…Hatcher leaves Tuesday and I will be a mess until I know he is safe and sound in Anchorage on the ground with someone there to meet him. Then…Cora comes home Friday!! I also will be a mess til she is safe on the ground in Grand Rapids.

I was able to go to Frozen the musical with the Longs….very last minute and of course I took them up on it. The funny part of the story is that for some reason I thought is was Disney Frozen on Ice….(my brain took Frozen and turned it to Disney on Ice) and so I was so confused as to how it could be at the Devos Center. I was walking into the theatre before I realized…its not on ice. It’s a musical. Funny how my brain can pick a road and stick on it. Yikes. Scary. It was good though. The reindeer was impressive and of course Olaf was the best but he was more like a puppet and the man walking behind him was distracting. BUT still good. Anna was funny. About an hour before the show I had another friend text me telling me she had an extra ticket and did I want to come. I guess Frozen was for sure in my future because I had people offering me tickets left and right! I stole a quick hug from her and sat with the Longs. ( the picture wouldn’t load because everyone insists on LIVE photos and they don’t talk to the blog and I don’ t know how to convert them.)

This past week I was able to go paddle boarding…kayaking..and was out on a boat with our friends (one of Marks good freinds from L3 and a fellow pilot). They invited us out on the boat and it was a beautiful hot day. We anchored and ate at The Deck and then got back on and went to Pioneer Park to meet up with some of their family and by then I was a bit seasick and needed to get on the beach. That feeling never totally goes away but on the way back it was better. The air was hot and humid so the water was glorious on Lake Michigan. When we anchored at the beach I told them I now remember that last time we went it was slighlty miserable. It was all coming back to me. So next year I told them I’d just meet them at the beach!! Todd gave Hatcher this really cool frame though. His dad, Jack, made it and it was the outline of Michigan and had two photos of Mark in it. They flew together ALOT and had many adventures together and I know he misses his alot.

Kiyah is awesome and super cute and always smiling. She has two new teeth coming in! Sadly she was sick the last 3-4 days and her and Felicity were miserable. She is on her way to better. I hope that Felicity can go back to work Tuesday!

I met up with my cousin last Wednesday to finally look at her property and it poured rain!. When we finally got there…we couldn’t even roll down our windows to talk..and the roads were flooded over! It was crazy. But before that we had lunch (I was super sweaty from pickleball and felt ridiculous) but she asked me if had really hit me what has happened to us. Like the reality of it all. I can’t remember how she asked me..something like “have I grasped it”. I told her no. In fact, the day before I was driving home and I was like…still…”did this really happen to us?” Will Mark just come walking through the door at any moment? I have days where I am still shaking my head. Thursday morning I woke with Mark on my mind strong…so my morning started with tears. It just does sometimes. I went to Breakaway with a friend and it was good but the conversation we had afterward was better. I just struggle so much with being the only parent. I really don’t know how people do it. I parented alot on my own but I knew Mark was coming home. Now I am truly on my own. There’s no one to back me up, no one to throw down the hammer, no male perspective…we have lost our spiritual leader and the head of our family. The glue!! I’m not going to get into the Barbie movie and the culture we are headed into, or are in, but LORD bring a movement of MEN standing up for families, their kids, their communities and schools. Let the moms let them stand in the place they were given to lead and say NO to this bologna happening. Call me crazy but we see alot of women leading some of these crazy movements while the men are absent or sit back and let them. Women (mostly) lead by emotion, which is great that we are like that but men tend to be more objective (tend to be I said. Don’t get your panties all in a bunch. I’m generalizing. Which is oK!!). We were made different for a reason. I would love to see more men stand up for their families. I feel like many men feel stripped of their masculinity and it needs to stop. We need GOOD men to lead. I don’t want to lead my family but I have to. Its not what I was meant to do. I don’t want to be both parents and any woman who says she does is crazy. I don’t believe it. So its hard. Its been hard. My youngest needs his dad. (well my daughters do too) I can never be that.

I’ve been struggling alot with how I handled life when Mark got sick. It all fell on me and I really don’t even remember all that I did or said or didn’t do but the one thing I don’t recall is when I came home from the hospital each night…I don’t remember going up to my kids to check on to make sure they felt loved and assured and if they had questions or to just hug them. I’m sure they were scared. I remember being exhausted…eating something…we did talk but I just don’t remember…going to bed and getting up early to go back. Then when Mark came home we just moved forward but we were parallel with each other. It’s like Mark and I were on one highway and they were two lanes over…living life seperate. Neither of us understanding or knowing what the other is feeling. Man…I wished I would have handled that better…I guess I needed an in home nurse. I thought I could do it all. I can’t . You can’t. You do your best but something falls through the cracks. I think that is why its so hard to watch Hatcher fly off for three weeks. I just miss my kids…I miss my life..I miss my family together. I miss Mark…my glue. My sense of reason and wise counsel. I do alot of stuff..I have friends..but life is lonely. I sure won’t complain if Jesus somes soon. I’m ready. I try to see purpose…I’m not sure what I need to be doing…I kind of feel like I’m walking in the fog. I know time and good conversations will help heal this. I know the Lord has a great plan. I’ll continue to be a part of that plan..I just hope the plan includes him coming back soon.

Well Aly is about to walk through that door and I should get this posted and go off to read. I need a good nights sleep so I can go get my butt kicked my 70 yr olds in pickleball. I’m not kidding.

Comments 2

  1. Love you sweet friend.
    You love your kids.
    They know.
    Praying for you all.
    God only can be the Rock and Salvation, the Hiding Place… for each of you. Ps 62:5-7.
    You can rest in Him.
    I know I dont know all your pain.
    But He does.
    Thanks for giving us a window into your heart. You are so brave. Such an amazing woman.
    Will be praying for the kids. Miss you all terribly. Hugs from afar.

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