Stick Season

September 8th 2022

It’s the Vermont saying for the season between fall and winter. After the leaves have fallen but before it snows. The beauty of the fall is gone…the trees stand naked waiting for it’s next wardrobe to wear. Light snow coat and sometimes icicles to adorn its branches like fine jewelry…but until then. Cold and naked with no real beauty. Like a void. It’s actually a popular song now. Hatcher is playing his guitar right now in the basement and I can hear him playing that song along with many others. Its kind of a sappy love song…the writer misses his girl. But it always makes me think of Mark. His memories “will have to do…my other half was you…I hope this pain is just passing through..” Don’t worry, I won’t drink alcohol til my friends come home for Christmas “as I dream each night of a version of you”. We drive down Spruce to school each morning…Hatcher plays his spotify playlist and I stare off to the left…as the sun starts to rise and there is a blanket of fog over the “muck fields” which looks eery and beautiful at the same time. The scenery…the music. Gets me every time. Life feels like the Stick Season.

Today I did something I have never done before in my life. Some of you will laugh, and some of you will realize that you have not either. I went to a movie….alone. By myself. I had to really battle with this! It’s something I said that I would do at some point in my life but I had a million reasons not to. I have a list of things to do…it was sunny and a total waste to spend any time indoors if it can be helped and well….I was sort of scared to. I decided on a total last minute whim to do it but as I got closer to the theatre I got nervous. My stomache hurt a bit and I could feel myself wanting to bail. Why? I’m not sure…I do things with people and so the unknown…was weird and I could think of many non-wierd things to do instead. BUT, I was committed and so I went. I watched Maverick. I’m not going to give a movie review but I will say it was worth watching….the hard part was that Top Gun was one of Mark’s all-time top favorite movies. When he was a kid he was able to get a fighter pilots jacket and sported it around very proudly and really, he wanted to fly fighter jets like his grandpa. He wanted to join the Air Force but with a hypothyroid condition he was flawed and would not be able to. Which really stinks because we all know…he would have been a really great fighter pilot. I think he would have liked the movie. If you have not seen it…skip to the next paragraph. I watched Tom Cruise fly off in a personal plane at the end and felt really sad that I didn’t enjoy flying as much as Mark and I didn’t ask him to take me…I had to be asked and if I had something more pressing…I passed. I mean I went, but not often. We owned a plane 15 mins from our house and I barely went. I did not indulge in that passion of his and of course, wish I had. After the movie a flood of emotions hit me and I sat in my car awhile feeling sorry for myself. I bet you guys didn’t cry at Maverick.

I did end the evening looking a an airstream renovation possibility with Karson and Abby but it was more of a project then he was willing to take on. So we got dinner and chatted and spent some time together. Totally worth it. And when was the last time I didn’t feel pressed to be somewhere? I don’t know. I scooped up Hatcher from Youth Group Kickoff and got home in time to make his lunch for tomorrow, start the diswasher and tie up a few loose ends from my to do list.

NO! the fleas are not gone yet. I had my bat man spray the interior of my house. A wise friend told me that the few toxins from the spray can’t be that much more harmful that the stress I’m experiencing from all of this. So I did it but…I’m not totally convinced it worked. I’m still vacuuming and treating daily. I’ll do the rugs again with a remedy and I’ll keep washing everything but when does it all end!??? (This has been going on since Fathers Day. Yes, June) On a better note…I think we found the entry way the bats have been using and its sealed and I have not noticed any trace or evidence of any bats. So one of the plagues may have stopped but some of the others are still going strong.

Tomorrow (friday) is Alys first college cross country meet. She says she is ready and feeling good about it. Its a big deal for her so if you remember to pray for her…it starts at 6:15 in Indiana. Aly races at MSU on the 16th and thats close so I’ll be able to go to that one. Cora also joined the Cross Country Team for Moody Bible to enlarge her circle of friends and for exercise. She will run in her first meet next week I think. There is a meet Saturday but I’m not sure she is running since she joined late. Hatcher PRed (personal record) on his second race! He has a meet Saturday but its a hilly one, however, he could still PR again. I just always feel like if the kids are putting forth max effort they will continue to improve each race (unless its a tough course) and so I get excited to see any time come off, even 2 seconds.

I was able to watch Kiyah yesterday and part of today. She really is such a cutie and I really do feel glad I can be a part of her life. I’m happy Felicity is making better choices and that she loves her baby to pieces. I’ve been praying for a car for her. For a reliable one to appear somehow that is also affordable. I keep telling her to not worry about it…that she has been taken care of so far and I don’t doubt that things will continue to “fall into place”. Lets all keep praying that it will all be worked out. yeah? But can you add to that a new place for her to live? Its a long story but soon she will have to move out (nothing is wrong, its a prearranged agreement) and is hoping all her paperwork etc will all be processed and that she will not only qualify for low income housing but that a unit/house/apartment will show up. Sigh. So much to think about.

I was reading in my Bible Study that we are to neither be lazy or too busy. We aren’t to covet the past or worry and be anxious about the future. I get too busy…I covet the past and I get anxious about the future. I know we all maybe do to a certain extent but I was really convicted. Let me share some of it with you. Actually TBC….I need to post this. Talk soon