Invite to Pity Party: if you don’t want to come. don’t read.

DustyMark's Journey

I don’t want to do this.

I dont’ want a dialysis machine in my house.

I don’t want a water line running across my floor.

I don’t want to make a Pak

I don’t want to make a Sak daily!

I don’t want to take vitals every 30 mins

I don’t want to hook my husband up to a machine so his blood can be cleaned 5 days a week!

I don’t want to worry about blood clotting and emergency health situations.

I don’t want to take blood draws 2x a month

I don’t want my home office filled to the rim with medical supplies.

I dont’ want to read any more articles on curing cancer naturally.

I don’t want to schedule more appointments.

I want to sit next to Mark on a sofa.

I want to pant to keep up with him while he runs around the CC course to cheer on his kids, jumping an obstacle in his way.

I want to go hiking for our anniversary this month.

I to fight about normal things…not where or who is going to hook up a water line for us or why he shouldn’t eat sugar.

I wanted to finish this house together.

I want to have a glass of wine with him and cook dinner.

I want to go to church with him.

I want my kids to feel like they are living with us, not among us.

I want to go for a long walk with my airpods and listen to my sarcastic radio host tell me what is going on in this crazy world.

I want to continue to feel blessed and know my Lord is taking care of us even though it still feels like I’m walking in a weird foggy dream. I don’t want to be bitter. I want to totally rely on the Lord…He has been so good. What if we didn’t have that? What if we had no hope??