“If I can just get through this day…”
How many times have we said this to ourselves? Too many to count?
There was always one day in particular that was TOO much for me. It was Wednesdays. I went to help care for a family member almost all day, picked up my kids, did ALL THE THINGS for after school, including another trip into town for sports pickup or whatever….made dinner and the we all went off to church. But really, it was Thursdays that was worse. I did the same thing during the day but maybe added and early morning workout. Then after school and the running around I then transferred my daughter to dance…drove back toward home to teach Turbo Kick and then went back to to get her so I could return home to get everyone settled down for bed. BUT Tuesdays was double classes in the morning….a short break and then all the running around at night.
I guess they were all bad…if I let them be. And that is the point of this post. Tonight as I drive home from an open house that I just couldn’t enjoy as much as I thought I would, I told myself….”I just have to get through today”. It’s been a while since I’ve said that to myself.
I learned this last year how to say NO better. I learned that there are more than once type of chaos and we must learn how to tackle and tame them all. Don’t spend too much time on one or the others will take over. There must be the trifecta balance.
I made my schedule different this year and kept it to a minimal (which is still busy to to others but it’s things I LOVE). It doesn’t take long though for you to start saying yes too many times. When this happens, it seems it all just falls apart. And it did! I quickly made sure to step back, reassess, take some events off the calendar and step back into life. However, life doesn’t cooperate, especially when it involves people. When people decided to drag drama and chaos into my little box that I was trying to clean out, I don’t respond well. I don’t cry…right away…I have all the other emotions..and then the big break down happens. (TBD) And just getting through today seems like too much.
When you state that to yourself there should be huge red flags going up. High..and fast!! BIG ones. Flapping in the wind, making that snapping noise! Red flags should go up because our days are gifts and trying to put your head down and force through them so they are over with quicker means something is amiss.
There are 3 things you must do:
1-Identify what thing or things is causing you the most strife.
a. if it’s a person, address them (we are…but its not going awesome)
b. if it’s an event. Cancel!!!! If the event is not adding value to you, your family or your business, does not NEED to be down now and is possibly taking from any of the above…you can cancel it.
2-Look at your calendar and take out more of these items from your life. You are not obligated to do it all for everyone. You are not letting them down. You are letting yourself down by not being strong enough to make boundaries.
3- STOP. DROP and write. List the gifts already given to you (look all around you-deeper than the material things). Find at least 3. Find joy in them, even if for just a few moments.
(optional 4th-go workout and sweat like a crazy person!!!!)
Sometimes we do just have to deal. Your can clear clutter from your house, your calendar and your mind but you can’t make people disappear and you can’t make situations banish. Sometimes you have to deal. But if you can go into it with JOY, knowing you are loved and have purpose…and with less other trivial stuff on your plate, you can assess better.
Life was not made to “just get through”. You (WE) are going to miss it