The Lord has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all.
When Mark first started traveling for work, I had 6 kids at home. They were in high school all the way down to a toddler. We were living in the old farmhouse (yes there have been a few, I like them) in Rockford on Myers Lake Avenue at the time and life was busy (has that stopped?)
It was hard for me to go to sleep at night without him. It was strange to be in that big bed with no one else there. My kids did well sleeping in their own beds and rarely came into mine. A couple gals had come to do special music at our church (maybe Cornerstone alumni…I feel like they knew Kelly Clum and maybe Mark) and sang a song called Yearn by Shane and Shane. It was beautiful and really stuck in my head so I bought the CD (yes, we still had these). It was mostly Psalms…sang to music. I would put that in my CD player and listened to it as I fell asleep. It was good noise and let me listen to scripture to calm any crazy fears I might conjur up in my head. As moms…we can think of the craziest things…the most wacky never-going-to-happen things….that might happen to us or our kids. I would tell myself that if I imagine these things…or think they could happen (drive off icy bridge in my car full of kids and I would have to break windows and rescue them…) then they will never happen. (Which is not how it works, actually) and I would get major bummed at myself for having these awesome daydreams…because then they weren’t going to happen to me. (which, still, is not the way it works)
I have a fear of something happening to Mark, as all wives do, leaving me alone to finish raising my kids. He has had some crazy things happen to him…none I thought of ahead of time. I never thought that he might get cancer.
Through the years….as the kids got older and Mark traveled for work…I never had to sleep alone. (and it wasn’t a big deal anymore) The kids, mostly just the girls now, sleepover with me. For me or for them…??? Doesn’t matter.