May 31, 2023
Its been awhile since we had coffee together. Sorry, I’ven been busy or just didn’t feel like making the time but then I forget how nice it is to just sit and talk.
Hatcher drove off to school this morning..early..for FCA (fellowship of Christian athletes) because its their last message and instead of him speaking, he is leading some worship. What a great way to start a school day!
We haven’t talked since Easter I don’t think. Alot has happened. Today I made my pour over (because my pot isn’t working well and honestly I kind of backed off on coffee. I know! What!?? Its good, but it’s not that good. In and effort to be a more healthier me…it’s one step in less caffeine and more water. I really just love the warm cup and the smell in the morning. It pairs best with a squeaky clean, well organized house to sit, a combo for total relaxation…and well, the clean house part isn’t coming along as well as some other projects. This morning I sit cross legged on my leather sofa…three haphazard pillows among me…an unfolded afgan my friend made me lays like a lazy teenager on the other end, all crumpled and lifeless…a water glass from yesterday on the arm and my unpacked backpack from this past weekend leans against it. The vacuum is next to the door but hasn’t sucked up this carpet in over a week. Waking up is still hard and I often feel really groggy and so I thought I’d start with reading….but then I thought about you and thought maybe I should update you while I had some down time this morning. Last time I opened Marks Bible I had the intention of picking up where I left off on the 90 day read through but then got caught up in his notes and ended up in Psalms. It was perfect for my upcoming talk with the Bible Study gals so I stayed there….and made it part of my “message”. I wish I could read between the lines in all of his notes and put together his thoughts and then let others know. But I can’t….I’ll never know exactly where he was going with his thoughts and mind when he was reading. I feel like he was always crafting a lesson or message. According to his notes though..you should read Psalm 142….then 57…then 34.

Cora finished her second year at Moody and came home to teach the Celebravo (like a homeschool prom/gala) swing dancing. I think I have some video of her practing…somewhere. Hatcher and Aly went along too and had a blast.


Aly came home permanently a week after Cora but even with the time gap…the small house fills up fast!!

But the girls did decide to do a last minute garage sale and sold quite a bit and right away donated the rest so like 7 bags of clothes left this house. That was a relief for sure.
We celebrated the birth of Alyeska (19 yrs) and Hatcher (16 years) as well as Kiyah’s first birthday!!
Felicity’s birth sisters and one brother came…and the fiance of the brother…made the super cute cake and beautiful cupcakes for Felicity.



We started and ended a track season for Hatcher. He took some time off from lasts year’s hurdle PR and made a new PR (personal record) but he has 4 seconds to take off to beat the record, however, he has 2 years…and I truly believe if its what he wants…and he works at it off season…he can do it.


Aly did NOT run indoor track or outdoor track as her body still needed to heal as we figure out what is going on inside of her. She did a treadmill stress test and she had an echocardiogram. We were told the echo was fine/normal and the same with the treadmill test although Aly felt like it was too hard when it should not have been. Later, a phone call from the doctors told us the treadmill was abnormal for her age and activity level and they want to do a CAT scan. So I made some phone calls to their office questioning this for 2 reasons. ONE: the echo showed nothing to back up the abnormal test, it was normal TWO: I don’t want to put dye in her and radiate her just to be precautious if there is not a definate image that says they need to look closer. The cardiologist wants to rule out ACA (Arterial Coronary Anomoly) and I would love to as well, IF he thought the chance was super high and he had another test to back up this theory. 2% of ALL people have this. 2%. After speaking with the nurse….I think its more like a vasovagal issue that developed over time and possibly as a stress reaction to life these past 2 years….and now when her body gets stressed (physically or mentally) she might not even feel stressed but her body reacts by a high heart rate…lower BP…feeling like fainting..and she has to wait it out. It might not haunt her forever…or it might. Learning to navigate the symptoms will be her biggest challenge. BUT maybe we are wrong. If only we could see inside our bodies without further harming it and without it costing an arm and a leg. I’ll keep you updated on Aly as we become more informed. In the meantime she is running…she says it feels harder than it should..and working her tail off this summer.
Hatcher was part of the school conference talent show…and he made top 11 and traveled to all the other schools (well, 5 of them) and performed. He then met up with a (used to be) local who heard him play at the open mic in town (Flying Bear Book shop which now serves amazing crepes) and invited him to come to his gig the next night. After regionals, we showed up and he let him play! He loved it. Then he was on the ferry back from Beaver Island this past weekend and met up with a traveling band and they let him play too!! watch it here. I was up on the top deck with the dog…and then I was paroosing FB and someone had put him on the Beaver Island Forum!! It happened underneath me and I never knew me!



I put Cora on a train…to go to St Louis where she would attend a wedding and then board a plane to Germany. She felt overwhelmed and unsure of alot of the details of everything happening. With school ending…and all the chaos of life she missed emails and meetings and all of the sudden it was here and she was going and she wasn’t sure she was ready or even wanted to. Like, she wanted to of course, but staying home…sounded good too. I know she will love it and learn so much but getting there is sometimes hard to do mentally. I was a bit of a wreck knowing she was leaving and entering a foreign country. I woke up at 1am and called her to make sure she was making it to her next plane and it was tight! That took years off her life I think :). She landed safely in France and then was off with her team to learn and meet. She told me she likes all the people and seem to really hit it off with one girl in particular. Thank you LORD for that! She knows I love chateaus and sent me a photo of one they went by.


Aly left to go work on Beaver Island with two of her college and running mates. Beaver Island is a high tourist place all summer and they are always looking for workers. Everywhere is hiring up there. The girls got a job at Harbor Bodega, a cafe and sandwich shop and market. They love their boss and she loves them. I had them all set up in a “glamping” situation but they used their resources and are moving in with a co-worker whose kids are all grown and gone. Its closer to work and has running water and electric. Not everyone is cut out for roughing it, although Aly will want you all to know…she was fine with it. I did go visit her this past weekend and the mosquitos were atrocious!
May is the worst..is it not?! It’s the collision of the end of everything and the start of summer. It’s always busy. I’ve never liked May and now I have more reason to not like it. Mark has been gone for over a year now. I can’t believe it. I really can’t. I have had one vivid dream about him. He pulled into a pole barn that was unfinished in a convertible VW and he was wearing his long sleeve blue shirt (I’m wearing it right now)and my Zyia mountian cap he often stole. He got out and he was whole..healthy.. and I was sobbing and he didn’t know what was the matter. He didn’t know why I was crying. But to me, he had come back. I had a similar dream when my sister died. I was in an apartment type space and she all the sudden came in the door with her Army sak. She had come home from the Army (but she was never in the army) and I was sobbing and hugging her because to me, she had come back. I could touch them. It felt real. I took a nap on Tuesday and I dreamt again that Mark was here and I leaned into him expecting him to be skinny and weak but he wasn’t (like when he was sick) and he whispered something about…like “he wished he would have” or something.. I can’t remember. I just remember how he felt. But they are dreams…and you wake up. And you are still alone.
I had the opportunity to speak to the Bible Study Ladies at church. To talk to them about getting through tough times and how I am doing it and how I think they can too. I felt like it went well. I have improvements to make but I’m ready to take it on the road. I can do this.
Mark’s headstone finally came in. It was a long process but it’s finally where it needs to be. I’ve had people tell me its nice and I saw a photo. I haven’t gone to see it. I don’t visit gravestones. It’s not my style. They aren’t there. I’m okay with other people visiting but in my brain it doesn’t totally make sense. I went to my sisters once. I did the gravestone for the people that will go and its my gravestone as well and so that is done. None of my kids need to do that. They just need to cremate me and throw the jar in the ground. I’ll probably go check it out but you probably won’t run into me there.
It’s finally green and it’s finally warm and it feels like summer. I’m just waiting for this crazy pollen to stop covering everything and for these weird squiggly things to stop dropping from the trees and maybe I can stain my deck! It feels like full on summer mode now. I’m ready to go to the beach but I actually don’t ever find the time like I want. I was up at Beaver and enjoyed the beach there but I did not get on the paddle board or swim. We spend Sunday afternoon with my cousin and his family and the girls all paddle boarded til the sun set. Before boarding the ferry on Saturday, I went and ran the Bayshore Marathon in Traverse City..BUT…I didn’t finish! I was ready, I was! I pounded out the first 10 miles at a really nice pace for me. I was stoked because I thought it was going to be my best one ever and then all of a sudden I had a bad gut ache/sidestich and I felt a little naseous. I walked for a moment and started back up but I felt like I was toasted. The weather was nice…warmer than I would like, but it was sunny. I hate it when the sun beams on me when I’m running. The course was beautiful but by mile 12 all I could think of was quitting. I turned the halfway mark and started walking. I told myself I did NOT have to finish. As I was walking my back seized up really bad and then I didn’t know what was worse, walking or running! I came alongside a runner who was on her back…needing a medic so I stayed with her and got a ride off the course. Looking back I wonder if I had kept going if I would have magically found some energy or if it would have been miserable. I’ll never know but for the first time in my life…I DNF. Janie did the half and there is a picture of her with her medal.









Thats your recap.
I’ve been playing some pickle ball but have been frustrated with my lack of reflexes and knowledge on how to handle fast balls or just how to hit it sometimes. I played with my old high school volleyball coach today and stayed for 2.5 hours and I feel like a learned alot! One of the gals asked me to fill in on her team tomorrow! So I’ll be at Henning hitting some yellow balls tomorrow and hopefully that gal wont regret asking me (I’m not the most consistant person) and maybe I’ll finally hit the beach but there always seems to be something to do..like clean the rental! The BnB is doing great! I’ve had 5 booking and 2 inquires just over the weekend. Guess it was a good idea.